Petit Frere - A Mildly Serious Post (sowwy)

Yo.

As I attempt to concentrate at work during this anxiety-ridden week, I find myself thinking about The Boy (it's what I call the little bro - he calls me The Girl) and worrying, like a lame big sister, and needing to find comfort in something, anything from him.

So I'm reading through some FB messages and emails from the past few months since he's been in The Asia (that's what everyone calls it now). We've had our own....language (you can barely call it that) since we were little. It mostly involves Simpsons and favourite movie lines, inside jokes, lots of shortening of words, random French, and a shit load of gibberish.

This is the last message I got from him before the head injury. Which is ironic, because this is totally what I would expect a POST-head injury email to look like. I apologize to your eyes and brain in advance:

**
March 18, 2009:

"Subject: Myyyyyeeerrrrrrggg!

Here's you'e TRUE discussion! I'm just gonna look at the keyboard and go....seatbelts? I love you...

I cant fuckin do it. haha no i can maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Gilrl...Gil yea > RRRR GiRl hahahahaha zoe-age: YoU gO gIrL!

point is...I'm fucked
baheaehe

moving on...

what?

I Think i tap out right now. Laos is amazing

K intelligent thought...go!: Lost it.

Ummmm Aunt Mo says you're done something or the time has come or some shit, you know...so pull up your dress and let's cut a swath of next-gen [insert our last name] impeccable journeying.....MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE! I'm he-man you're shee-ra, bligaddydaow! game on.

k i gotta uploard pictures...(haha uploard is a funny word) love bye yes!

Me.

pee-ess. Now I dig for oil! I consider myself and OIL-man! Now I'm a FAMily man! This is my son H. W....

I got it on me ipod. D-day is my fav actor for sure...stamped it"

**

Um...riiight. I'm pretty sure this injury involved mushrooms or Laos Beer. And by pretty sure I mean positive, judging by this hot verbal mess.

Anyway, NEXT!

**
December 26, 2008

"Subect: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLLLLL!

I'm clearly hammered in a bar right now that offers free Internet. It's 2:17 am. Life is good!

Nice email. I got teary-eyed, but no further than that. You don't yet have the power to make me cry...voluntarily maybe. Man I'm growing up. I hate everyone here. But they're all I have. so i have to learn to love what i hate. hahaha ramblings, it's not that dramatic but that's a quick overview. No I love it. I'm having a blasty-cakes. Missed ya'll on xmas and xmas didnt feel like a real xmas without cold weather and proper music and friends. But I organized a white elephant game with the volunteers. T'was a good time. I ended up with the bottle of cobra/scorpion wine that i bought. It is absolutely rank and horrible. I'm gonna finish it one day.

Living is so cheap here. The perfect place to ride out this economical crash and shit, though i don't understand it. Love to hear your spiritual evolution of treating others with love and understanding. That's what it's all about sister. The Power of Now, book that i jacked that uncle michael gave you once...I'm reading it...man...heavy shit. I grow wiser by the page. It's really good stuff, I'm gonna market it to you at an annoying rate, you have to read it.
But not high. It's impossible to read high ahhaha. Weed here is absolute dogshit. So dry and crappy, but 10 bucks gets you like 5 grams. Worth it.

Anyways I'm gonna pee my pants so I'd best let you know that one day the travel of me and youse must inevitably occur. Fuck, you and your lawyering, you'll have 10 year old kids by the time you're able to take time off to vacay. Here's to the dream. Oh and thank for your patented ego-pat, what with the you're so handsome, smart, amazing, genius, loving, cover of GQ, Clooney has nothing on you, you make the world turn lovingness only a sister like you can dole out. So much BS, but that was the part that teared me up cause I believe you meant it. (YOU'D BETTER HAVE FUCKING MEANT IT!) I take a much simpler approach (the beautiful differences between us): I love you M!

All I need to say. I love you.....I miss you too! There.

Le Gas"

***



Love you too, boy.

OK. Now I'm emosh.

Back to talking about ear-fuckin' and ball-garglin' next post, promise!

P.S. These kids are clearly not my bother and I. Gotta protect our secret identities! Also, they're way cuter.

xoxo
m