Hello most loyal sluts,
[Insert standard apology about how I'm the worst at updating this cat shit blog]
Since I've been getting mounted at my day-job these days, I've invited a special guest writer to entertain you whores this week. His Nom de Plume shall be "D" to keep shit nice and simple, and because I make the rules, since I am the Ruler of All (aka this cat shit blog).
I'm getting called to the Bar tomorrow (yawn, eye roll) so I'm sure that most boring of ceremonies and the rager that follows will bring with them many stories for you, my pets. I predict I say something inappropriate in front of my grandparents about smoking weed at dinner, and fall into the pool at my friend J's party later that night. FTW!
I'm also going to Manhattan this weekend to pump some excitement (and possibly a few STDs) back into my desperately boring existence. I promise to make many poor decisions and report back to you.
Enjoy D's ramblings, which I trust you will not find as funny or awesome as my own. And if you DO, sleep with one hand protecting your throat.